Weekend

Almost weekend now. The kids are coming home tomorrow, with grandma, my brother and his 3 boys. I’m really looking forward to it. Love my bro and love being an aunt! Wanna bake some cup-cakes, cookies and bread, and have a real good time with the family the whole weekend… Miss the kids and I hope we will have some quite days now, we need it. (Their mum do!)

without kids for a while

The kids are with grandma. What a quiet time at home! Isn’t it funny how your life is centered on the kids, and when they are out, you are totally on your own and suddenly have to search for things to do!! Not that it’s any problem at all, but anyway your routines are destroyed…

The weather I miserable and it makes me think of fall and winter! Makes me do some thinking about the next 6 months. Maybe evening class, Italian again? I’m just a beginner and it’s really tough! But somehow I’m both stubborn and curious and I have an inner hope to get to use it for real, one time or another. Maybe zumba? Actually I’m not the sporty type! My work is only temporary, until the end of the year, so it also depends on my situation afterwards. If I end up unemployed for a while, I can do both!

The weather also makes me think of next year’s vacation. We have to go south! Cannot manage the thought of vacation in this weather! That’s not vacation at all. I need the sun…

So if I sound melancholic… you know the reason… My pale body haven’t seen the sun for 2 weeks now…

You are my knight

I am a dreamer - you are my knight
took me away at very first sight

Brown eyes with mysterious glow
grabbed my heart and made i t flow
up in the sky with you all along
singing to me a beautiful song
warm and tender, hungry and keen
fantastic a human I've never seen

I'm the dry field of seed
waiting for you to feed

Collect me as fruits from the trees
blow me as wind in the leaves
sense me as flowers and bees

Are you a phantom of wishes in my mind
or send from above for me to find

Some kind of species

The Lazy song could be a picture of my day at the moment - well at least for 4 or 5 hours a day - since we have come back from holiday.

Wednesday  I was audience  in a big fight/show night. About 20 very well trained men of all ages, showing their skills either in fights or shows. Actually there were woman too, but somehow my eyes found the men only! I tell you, it was amazing. Nothing else than amazing. I am so impressed and overwhelmed by their self-control, discipline and brawn!  

Especially one man caught my eyes! He was not large, maybe 70 in and 35 pounds, but his arms and legs were only muscles! Not body-builder type but athletic-type! And so flexible! He had so much power I’ve never seen before. And yet so calm and self confident. 
There was something about him, somehow indefinable – an aura or charm, I don’t know. He just grab my heart and obsessed my mind! This morning it struck me! He reminds me of another man, who also made a big impression on me. A wonderful man but in another way… He is a man of words and philosophy! His talk can spellbound me! Very different from the men around me normally. Yeah – they do look alike and their dark-brown eyes… I’m lost…

Back at work

3 weeks of vacation, lovely – or not?! Of course - lovely… Sun, warm weather, totally relaxation, away from everything, enjoying a foreign country. Eat when you want, sleep when you want, bath when you want… Totally your own master, independent of all the everyday rules and regulations…

Well, at least in your mind… And more in your actions than daily, but not as much as it could be… The last step is the hardest! To be completely free, to be the one you truly are, all the way inside out… Is that even possible? Will it ever happen? The process is scary.

Now I’m back at work. Life goes on. Billions of thoughts and feelings are displaced and the show must go on – at least for now…It’s not so hard after all, you learn to focus on the little things. They are the ones that makes the difference.