To Dare

I know the sorrow

I know the pain

I know the feeling

Senseless insane

I feel Eruptions of rage

I feel Moments  in despair

I feel Verbal misery

Why don’t I dare

Are you there above

Watching me

Are you sad or glad

Of what you see

Do you see the life

Partly in me

Do you see the distressed

For me to be

Can you give me the strength

Can you give me nerve

Can you give me the warmth

I long to deserve

The little seed

Do you know the feeling? You are both happy and satisfied but deep inside unpleased and frustrated … excided jet anxious … curious though nervous … Your feelings are conflicting … Not all the time - well at least not on the surface … You live in deny.

But I know. I know the outcome. I know the feeling on the other side. Deep down I feel it. I need it, I long for it. It makes me going. Surviving. The feeling of my true identity. I have been hiding so many years. Denying. I have been playing along for so many years, that I sometimes wonder whether I am capable of anything else.

But I know. Deep down.

When time is right. Not now. I’ll use the meantime to growth. And when times get too tough, I hold on to the little seed – to the little light which keeps my spirit up.

Sono cose della vita

Very busy at work, I love it… Not two days are alike… I sure wish I can stay – on the other hand, who knows witch doors will open if I don’t get to stay….? Is it time for trying to teach? My old dream? I’m not convinced…

The children are at school, like if the vacation was years ago! Already tired of homework! Back in the old habit!! I struggle with youngest every single day. Why can’t he do something he like – as the adults?? If they don’t like their work, they search another job. Why must he sit down the whole day, making boring things??!! A lot of questions from a little guy, and no reasonable answers…

Now I look forward to my Italian-course, which begins in fourteen days… Look forward to spending a couple of hours on my own, and only for my own benefit!

…Sono cose della vita…

From the other side of the moon

I love your words.

Thank you so much.

You are the muse of my muse

You are my expectation
my faculty to indulge.
In your thoughts
in your braided words
as reeds of baskets
I surrender...
I get lost...
I am welcomed...
Now, for a moment, for ever...
You are my expectations
and with my desires of you,
of your hands,
your tongue,
your mouths
you live and multiply in my mind
while my volition desperately flap
against language's walls.
I know maybe wait is long
but the dream of you is not over
cause you are the one
who was to come
you are the one who was to paralyze my heart.
You are the world and the house
I have learned to live in.
You are my waiting
my absolute sentiment

Month of Fall

It’s September. Month of Fall. Now it’s really Fall! And as someone wishes to underline it, it’s raining more than ever now! All the rain we have got through the whole summer faints and flushes away! The storm is raging and reminds me of the dark time to come…

I find comfort in the books, a blanket and candle lights. Earth’s Children by Jean M. Auel. An exciting masterpiece… I wonder if there will be enough of books for the whole Winther!!