Fantastic Friday

The sun is rising on a sky without any clouds. Just a tiny wind is playing with the leaves – the only sign that my view isn’t a postcard!

People are still having vacation, the office is quiet, and so is the city. The trip to work was marvelous. Only a few cars, a couple of runners, me and some happy birds…

A deep breath and the air was like a vitamin bomb in my body and soul. I just love the trip to work. Nearly 3 miles on my bike, starting with a lovely view over the fields and a rich selection of birds, ending in our little old town with so much cozy atmosphere…

It is a fantastic Friday that’s for sure J

Have a lovely weekend everybody J

Dive into a couple of evergreens

The radio is always on in our office. I’m often the first in the morning and I turn it on right away! I said it before, music is a very important part of my life – I love it J The songs are appealing to me in a funny way, I mean, they produces so many feelings and thoughts and recalls so many memories, both good and bad – fortunately mainly good J
Two characters have made a big impression, and played an important role in my youth. Madonna and Phil Collins. Just heard the two songs below in the radio, marvelous songs! -From the 80’ies. 

Wham!

Makes me think about lots of other hits from that period.

“White snake – here I go again” “U2 – With or without you” “Cyndi Lauper – Girls just wanna have fun” “Wham – I’m your man” “The police – every breath you take”  “Eurythmics – miracle of love” “Culture club – Do you really want to hurt me” “Berlin – take my breath away” “Foreigner – I want to know what love is” “Joan Jett – I love rock n’roll” “Queen – I want to break free”

I could continue for hours!

Wonder what happened to the sweet guy I went to school with in the 80’ies? The quiet boy, always smiling always ready with a funny comment? I really liked him, in another way than the others, I kind of respected him and cherished the time with him, the one and only male-friend I had without fantasizing about him as a boyfriend… I was busy having fun and running around with crazy hormones in my head, being a jerk sometimes, like many other teenagers, but not this guy, he was the same all the time, easy and unproblematic! He was wise, guess he has a good job now, bet he is highly educated. I actually named my son after him – of course no one knows J

And how about my dearest friend – my one and only soul mate at that time? (And ever, now I think about it!) We were yin and yang for almost 10 years - inseparable! We went to sport together, slept together, went to school together, made homework together – everything! I loved her and her family very much… Her mother was the sweetest, and she had so much to give, even to me, in fact a stranger! Don’t know what happened, I moved and the crazy hormones continued (!), so bit by bit our contact faded out. Still think of her once in a while, even tried to name my daughter after her, but didn’t succeed! ...Wonder what became of her…?

Madonna


Well, let's dive into a couple of evergreens J

True blue - Madonna:

I've had other guys
I've looked into their eyes
But I never knew love before
'Til you walked through my door
I've had other lips
I've sailed a thousand ships
But no matter where I go
You're the one for me baby this I know, 'cause it's

True love
You're the one I'm dreaming of
Your heart fits me like a glove
And I'm gonna be true blue baby I love you

I've heard all the lines
I've cried oh so many times
Those tear drops they won't fall again
I'm so excited 'cause you're my best friend
So if you should ever doubt
Wonder what love is all about
Just think back and remember dear
Those words whispered in your ear, I said

No more sadness, I kiss it good-bye
The sun is bursting right out of the sky
I searched the whole world for someone like you
Don't you know, don't you know that it's

True love, oh baby, true love, oh baby
True love, oh baby, true love it's

True, so if you should ever doubt
Wonder what love is all about
Just think back and remember dear
Those words whispered in your ear, I said

You can't hurry love - Phil Collins:

I need love, love
Ooh, ease my mind
And I need to find time
Someone to call mine;

My mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes

How many heartaches must I stand
Before I find the love to let me live again
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
When I feel my strength, ooh, it's almost gone

I remember mama said
You can't hurry love
No you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
How long must I wait
How muck more must I take
Before loneliness
Will cause my heart, heart to break?

No, I can't bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can't go on
Well these precious words keep me hanging on

I remember mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
Well, it's a game of give and take
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes, now break!

Now love, love don't come easy
But I keep on waiting
Anticipating for that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
Hold me tight
I keep waiting
Ooh, till that day
But it ain't easy (Love don't come easy)
No, you know it ain't easy

My mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy

Yawn :-)

Dreams

Are not what you see in sleep

They are the things which won’t let you sleep

I'm Back!

I’m back! (Do I sound like Schwarzenigger from “Terminator”?!)
-Well I am – back behind my desk. My summer holiday is over, 3 weeks - gone with the wind. (Do I sound like… -okay I’ll stop now!) It’s been a fine vacation. Both in wonderful southern Europe, and at home…

I just thought about the first time I blogged, a year ago now, the same situation as now, just returned from vacation. Funny, nothing has really changed… Well, it’s not quite true that nothing has changed… I feel more confident and have more faith in the future… But on the surface everything is a usual!

I started blogging because I missed the one who was on my mind 24/7. I had so many feelings and thoughts and my head was overcrowded! I had a huge need for writing…

I still do (miss him) but now I also love to let my thoughts fly and just write it all down! I have always loved to write, but haven’t had the possibility in many years. Now I have due to my work, and I cherish it very much! I love to surf around and read about many other lives around the world… It’s a kind of escape from my everyday life, to write and read… Maybe also a sort of therapy. Never the less I am much wiser about many things – myself, my life, my feelings and needs. The doubt is always by my side, that’s for sure, but I feel the strength to control it! –And I see it disappear in the horizon!

Well, enough of that! I started Monday after 3 weeks of vacation. Tough that’s for sure! But I was also quite excited to open my mailbox – convinced that I would find at least one mail from at least one special person who remembered my birthday! It didn’t turn out that way…Can you imagine my disappointment? Not only had my colleagues forgotten all about it (still have) that’s one thing! But no mails at all, not just a single short one… It hurts! I really expected that he remembered… Now I’m trying to do some damage control! Telling myself that it’s for the best. It’s for the best he doesn’t write that often anymore. It’s for the best he doesn’t give me false hopes. Actually I’m the one who is slowing it all down! I’m the one who is bounded both literally and mentally… I know… But a mail… A tiny thought… This is hard to swallow… And I hate when I get so fragile – dammit get over it! Get a hold of yourself! Don’t claim anything of others as long as you don’t even know what to claim of yourself…

So – now you got my vomit!! Sorry! Had to get it out! Let’s change the subject…

Summer vacation is over, and half the year has gone. Within the next months its decided whether I get to stay here or not. My vacancy lasts the year out but I expect to get some clarity soon. A part of me (a big part of me) wishes to stay. This is steady which appeals to my need for security. It’s also partly busy and partly calm which also suits me very fine! –But a tiny part of me, the adventurer, is longing for something new… New tasks, new challenges… But well aware that I’ll never get the freedom I have here, it’s wiser to stay… -If it’s possible!