My promise

It’s been a long time since I’ve been blogging… Not that I haven’t had a lot of thoughts about my life and situation, and not that I haven’t had trouble gathering the thoughts, but I have been busy and all in all it’s been a hell concentrating and focusing! The big celebration is just around the corner, my beautiful son who is about to be confirmated. He is on the stairs to adulthood. It’s a very wonderful day and we all look forward to it. It has taken all my energy – and now, with only a few days left, I can see the outcome of our efforts, and my to-do-list is getting shorter J

I guess I suppress a lot of mixed emotions at the moment. –Have done for a lot of years actually, but now it’s feeling worse, or maybe I’m not that good at suppressing them any longer… Many years ago I made a pact with myself… Think time is up, and a part of me wants the pact to be fulfilled… It frightens me though, cause I know it won’t be without a lot of conflicts. I hate conflicts. I want to be in control, even though that means compromising on many personal issues… That’s going to change! –Just not right now…

What a week :-)

Another week has gone. And what a week! I tell you, we have had the most beautiful weather in a long time. The sun has shined every day, from dawn to dusk – so wonderful. Guess spring has arrived, even though snow is melting in a slow tempo, like it won’t let go! The nights are still very cold, but it doesn’t matter, as long as miss sunshine takes over J

I still have a million thoughts on my mind – buzzing around like the birds outside my window! …thankful for my job, and yet hate it now and then, when the tasks gets too boring… excited about our summer vacation – dreaming of Italy, the sun, the warm weather and the relaxing atmosphere, and yet torn between my personal feeling, not knowing how to handle our situation… the big celebration in 3 weeks is also occupying my mind, hoping everything will turn out fine…

In a magazine I read  my horoscope: …You feel like standing on a volcano about to erupt, but be patience… Don’t know how many times I have said that to myself!

Guess for a while I will look out of my window, and feel free and weightless like the birds outside – spring has arrived and I will suck it all the way down in my stomach  J