Friday hugs

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

My annual rehab

That’s it. We are back at 50 degrees! Back in my shoes and sweaters – no free toes and arms J But it’s okay. I still remember the sun and warm wind – it’s still fresh in my mind. Yet I don’t hope that’s all for this year!! We haven’t had enough – not at all! The thought is scaring me, a long summer vacation without any sun! We still don’t know whether we are going south or not. I’m counting every penny and my mind is spinning all the time – where can we save some money? Can you imagine me holding my breath? My face is about to turn blue!! Within two weeks we know for sure how to spend our vacation - which is in four weeks.

No doubt what I want! Sure it could be nice to go somewhere new – explore our own country and visit our own wonders J

BUT – many years in Italy have left their marks deep in my soul… First of all the climate which is radically different. The average temperature in July is 85 in Italy – here it’s only 68! To be able to enjoy your breakfast outside – and late dinner too – without having your hair blown around and big clouds threatening to wash away our food. To jump in the water without catching the cold. To go for a walk without having your wellies with you – just in case!! The climate is just so gentle – to put it in a single word.

Not to forget the atmosphere and culture – so far from ours and so far from my everyday life! I really love it, but actually I’m not sure I could handle it in general! It’s so nice to be relaxed and calmed about everything – for a period! ( and especially vacation) I think I prefer a more scheduled day, where people complies appointments and are more strictly about arrangements…

I just love the country.J

And I really relax being there. My annual rehabilitation. Mentally and physically. Besides I have to practice the language too! Hopefully we have a course again in September, and I’m far behind the others

Sono cose della vita

Isn't it wonderful

Summer has reach our country! Can’t explain how much it infects me – my soul is blooming!

This time last week the temperature said under 50 degrees Fahrenheit – the last 4 days we have had 90!

It’s amazing!

I love the trees, the grass and the flowers – not to forget the birds…

When I ride my bike every day to and from work I suck all the wonderful impressions!

In the morning – everything is quiet, the birds are twittering

The long path without cars – only me

And the yellow fields on my right

And green fields on my left

A warm tender breeze in my face

The sun rising in the horizon

The wide blue sky above

In the afternoons people everywhere

On bikes, walking, skating, running

With smiles on their faces – as happy about the weather as me

Life buzzing everywhere

I wish I could take half of my stomach-feeling

And save it for worse times!

‘Cause I can hardly contain all the happy feelings - all the joy

I have to change the design on my blog! Just to take a little bit of it

With me to the computer

And share it with you

Isn’t it wonderful

That's wise - but difficult !!

I will spare you for all my analyzing! Trying to figure out my life! – and also spare myself for all the thoughts I make before (and during)   writing them!!

You get a quote instead, a wise one – but difficult nevertheless!!

Think this will be my mantra...

Give me a hint !! :-)

Almost weekend now – marvelous! …A couple of days away from the computer, that’s needed! I have been searching – surfing – on the internet quite a lot the previous 4 days, primary to read and learn about supernatural things. Still confused about it… Nevertheless I have been reading tarot cards every day – more times a day actually!! Can’t say I have become wiser! And I know I have to seek the answers inside myself… -But I would like to get a hint… which I think I do – or…?

Do you sense my uncertainty?? J

Have a lovely weekend everybody.

Talking to the moon

...Still thinking of you...


I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbors think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I had
You're all I had

At night when the stars
Light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the Moon.
Trying to get to You
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too.
Or Am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?Ohoooo...

I'm feeling like
I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say
I've gone mad
Yeah
I've gone mad
But they don't know
What I know
Cause when the
Sun goes down
Someone's talking back
Yeah
They're talking back
Ohhh

At night when the stars
Light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the moon.
Trying to get to You
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too.
Or am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...
Do you ever hear me calling
(Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...)
Ho hou ho ho hou

'Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon

Still trying to get to you
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?

Ohoooo...

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away

Bruno Mars - talking to the moon

A wonderful tradition

Months of preparations culminated last weekend. The big day, the big celebration, the confirmation of my beloved daughter. All my time has been occupied with practical things, what to wear for all of us, how to do the tables, flowers, guests, food and so on. Thousands of things! Thousands of small notes everywhere reminding me of what to remember, and when!!! More than 50 guests were invited, and I was a nervous rack! To be the host on such a big day was quite a pressure on my tiny shoulders J

But I tell you - what a fantastic day. Everything was perfect, everything went as it should! My speech to her – without breaking into tears… And her “thank-you” song, again without breaking into tears (that was the tuff part!!)

She was a really beauty in her white dress and she enjoyed the day as much as I. The day is truly a wonderful tradition in our Christian belief.

Now it’s all over – that’s an odd feeling!

A milestone in our lives. A wonderful day to remember…

Supernatural

Do you believe, that there are more between heaven and earth than the eye can see? Do you believe in tarot cards?

I’m not sure what to believe! Actually, I don’t want to believe it, my common sense tells me not to! But many things happens to me

and many signs are given to me…

I guess I must confess – deep down inside I do believe in  supernatural things – a bit J

Have a lovely weekend everybody :-)

Are you somewhere out there – saying a prayer for me?

Thank you for making me strong

Thank you for giving me the strength

You make my soul blossom

A wonderful Easter and a small holiday is over J 10 days off. Been with family and friends, nice… But… I’ve missed my computer! Missed the time alone, with the possibility of letting my thoughts fly! –I’m catching up now!

Missed you too. Wondering where you are and what you are doing? Asked the questions a thousand of times – but still haven’t got any answer… Wondering why I’m still wondering where you are and what you are doing! – haven’t got any answer to that either! J

It’s been a year now. How time flies! Anyway it’s kind of funny – the longer I’m apart from you, the closer I’m getting to myself! You started a really positive circle in me. And even though I always have millions of questions, I now have as many answers too… I love you for that – too!

I’m sincerely grateful…

That’s why my Easter was wonderful…

ME

I can manage this

A time full of ifs

I can cope with the backside

Even without to hide

Nothing will get me down

In misery I will not drown

my treasures on my mind

in them I always find

loving light and pleasure

can always reassure 

but however my life is turning

whatever the spirit is yearning

I’m never gonna be

Anyone but me

Future

The sky so blue

A devotion so true

A life in two

The question is who

A bird above

Witnesses the love

The spirit inside

Is sad to hide

                                               The life in middle

                                               A frustrated riddle

                                               A future to come

                                                Knows it’s the one

Feng Shui

A new week – and a lovely weekend behind me J The weather was beautiful, really stunning! Most of my tasks were indoor though! Nevertheless, all the sunshine and birds singing gave me lots of energy.

It’s so satisfying when you conquer old annoying household tasks! Like sorting a closet of various papers and letters – or pulling the bed out and clean behind and under it! Old half broken Christmas ornaments, clothes that doesn’t fit (and haven’t done for quite a while, which was the reason it got under the bed in first case!)

It was lovely getting into bed last night, knowing the air around me was without months old dust!! J And everything around me were still there because I decided so!

-Now I’m thinking of it, I’m in the middle of a feng shui project! J

Well, it was truly needed and now I can relax the whole Easter, with a good conscience… -After the next four days of work J

Something's missing on the list : )

Do you know Mozart?

It’s a little bit funny J the last days with you on my mind (more than else) and how I’m consistently reminded of you… Sometimes I do get the feeling, that I’m meant to be reminded of you J

I don’t know Mozart! I’ve heard his name, and know he was a famous composer, but that’s about it. Accidently I was presented this act.

Don Giovanni, this unscrupulous womanizer with only one purpose in his life – to conquer women! And his “night and day!” servant keeps all the women listed!

I think you shall have the text – in both languages! You can search on youtube if you want. I’m sure you see the connection – why I was reminded of you J – once again…

(By the way, I know you know Mozart, and I know you know the act! J)

My dear lady, this is a list
Of the beauties my master has loved,
A list which I have compiled.
Observe, read along with me.

In Italy, six hundred and forty;
In Germany, two hundred and thirty-one;
A hundred in France; in Turkey, ninety-one;
In Spain already one thousand and three.

Among these are peasant girls,
Maidservants, city girls,
Countesses, baronesses,
Marchionesses, princesses,
Women of every rank,
Every shape, every age.

With blondes it is his habit
To praise their kindness;
In brunettes, their faithfulness;
In the very blond, their sweetness.
In winter he likes fat ones.
In summer he likes thin ones.

He calls the tall ones majestic.
The little ones are always charming.
He seduces the old ones
For the pleasure of adding to the list.

His greatest favourite
Is the young beginner.
It doesn't matter if she's rich,
Ugly or beautiful;
If she wears a petticoat,
You know what he does.

Madamina, il catalogo è questo
Delle belle che amò il padron mio;
un catalogo egli è che ho fatt'io;
Osservate, leggete con me.

In Italia seicento e quaranta;
In Almagna duecento e trentuna;
Cento in Francia, in Turchia novantuna;
Ma in Ispagna son già mille e tre.

V'han fra queste contadine,
Cameriere, cittadine,
V'han contesse, baronesse,
Marchesine, principesse.

E v'han donne d'ogni grado,
D'ogni forma, d'ogni età.
Nella bionda egli ha l'usanza
Di lodar la gentilezza,
Nella bruna la costanza,
Nella bianca la dolcezza.

Vuol d'inverno la grassotta,
Vuol d'estate la magrotta;
È la grande maestosa,
La piccina e ognor vezzosa.

Delle vecchie fa conquista
Pel piacer di porle in lista;
Sua passion predominante
È la giovin principiante.

Non si picca - se sia ricca,
Se sia brutta, se sia bella;
Purché porti la gonnella,
Voi sapete quel che fa.

Taste a little bit of it again

God damnit, I did it again! So much for my self-control!! – or lack of, cause I haven’t got any!! (Not when it comes to you that is) Promised myself not to write to you before you have written to me. Promised myself to be patient and to give you time and space…! But… -Can I at least explain..?

I really got so caught up in memories yesterday. Read all the poems and verses you made for me and all your e-mails through the last year… They are so beautiful and wonderful. And… I’m not over with you… I haven’t had enough… I wanted to taste a little bit of it again… Wanted to open my mailbox – feel the excitement as my eyes run down the list of unread messages… Being all thrilled to open a document, looking at all the words – sentences, pages - maybe even a picture – likely a new poem you’ve wrote or a quote or saying you’ve found – just for me… I just wanted to feel it all again…my heart so high that I’m afraid it’ll pump out of my mouth, my pulse so quick that my cheeks blush and shines deep red like a sharp contrast to my blond hair and white teeth – looking unnoticed around at my colleagues – assuring myself that they don’t notice…cause no one would be doubting what I’m reading, what I’m experiencing, no one who has ever been in love, who has ever felt so curious about another person, who has ever felt compassion for another person…

I just wanted a bit of it back… So I wrote to you. Letting you know I’m still alive… Hopefully awakening a need in you to write to me… Just a “medium-short” e-mail, with what’s going on at the moment – and of course that I miss your words ( just to erase all potential doubt) but not a long miserable letter telling you how much I suffer from time to time… I don’t want you to think that I’m a crying sissy!!!

From the moment that I pressed the send button yesterday till I opened my mailbox this morning, thousands of thoughts flew through my mind and thousands of feelings entered my soul. What a journey! And as I tried to fall asleep I imagined how a weekend with you would be. Just the two of us, talking, laughing, enjoying each other’s company, going long walks in the beautiful nature, cooking wonderful meals… It could be so nice… I practically jumped on the bike this morning, riding the best I could, and opened my computer quicker than lightning, anxious to see what was in my mailbox… -Nothing. Of course, nothing… I knew it…

So now I promise myself, once again, that I will not write… I will give you time… and space… And I will not drag myself through the rollercoaster of feelings, disappointments, hops and wishes… Cause I know… I know very well, that it’s all up to me… I’m the one with the decision… -Or have been… Because maybe my chances are decreasing day by day… I’m just not ready – yet…

I just wanted to taste a little bit of it again…

Al Principe dei miei sogni

Time flies at the moment! The last days are like gone with the wind! Therefore I treasure the time I have here by my computer, all by myself, letting the thoughts run. –Only disturbed by my job once and a while… J I’m so lucky to have a job with so much freedom, a couple of deadlines two times a month, and how to manage the work in between is up to me! I know I said it before, let me state it again – I love my job.

I miss your letters! –That’s also said before! What are you doing – where is life bringing you? Are you working, studying or travelling? What happened last year, why didn’t they want you back as planed? I still have so many questions… -Still having so many mixed emotions… Anyway, I read an Irish saying on Janice's Blog and guess what, it was one of them you send me J It brought back so many happy memories, and my thoughts started to fly – again. You know sono una sognatice – even though you always called me principessa J I’d like to think I am…You feed my dreams, thoughts, feelings – life… and it really feels empty without you – without your words… But in a particular way… Cause my life is full of joy, love and happiness… What was it you brought…? What is it you still bring…? Compassion - passion…? Is that the right words? It sure brings me a lot of meaning –  wonderful adjectives, if they wasn’t already invented, your species would have done it J

I’m still not sure how to categorize my thoughts and feelings about you. Were you send from above to wake me up? To remind me of true inner beauty? To remind me of the way of thinking deep thoughts – like my father did, like I always saw him? To remind me of a life with much more within? Were you send to remind me of my own beliefs and values? Have I been compromising too much?

I cannot help thinking of the saying:

Which is the case to me! And I’m being reminded of you all the time – everywhere – The music on the radio, which has become our music (!) all sorts of little things, movies, clothes, food… and today the saying on Janice’s blog!



Well, that's me sweetie, sotto il faggio



Today’s dreaming – today’s looking out of the window – looking south – towards the muse of my muse J



Sweet Memories

Drops of waterfall I see

and colored balls bouncing

and children smiling at the feast of life.

Words stored in my veins I see

swept away by streams of memories

and children smiling at the feast of life.

And huge and blue the eyes I see

and cold and hungry hands getting warm

on the flames of my chest heated by wine.

A child is smiling at the feast of my life.

Have a great week!

I have completed two very annoying tasks from my to do list this weekend! What a wonderful feeling inside! Even today, on a Monday J I don’t know where all the energy comes from – spring? – but it was a satisfied feeling when I hit the pillow last night…

It’s still very long. –My to do list! Maybe never ending??!! When you have a house, a garden, 3 rabbits, 2 children, a dog, a husband and not to forget an Italian course…

That’s life, isn’t it…

Knowing

I know my feelings

I hear my thoughts

I’m wondering around in moods

all in my head like storage rooms

The pleasure in my life

The joy in me

mixed frustrations and aggravations

doubting placements

Nothing is for sure

Though everything for real

The sun is shining

my smile increase

the confidence

the knowing

can’t help showing

the love inside

is here to be

To follow the life of ME

Buon fine settimana

Don’t know about you – I really look forward to weekend! Have a lot of things on my to do list, and I know perfectly well, that I’ll only get half of it done! Anyway, it’s better than nothing, right??!! –Furthermore, the whole family needs to have a couple of quiet mornings, thing have been a little too hectic the last week.

I’ll start my weekend going on a café with my daughter J Just the two of us, talking, laughing, eating and relaxing with no concern of time J

See you J

Are you a part of the problem - Or a part of the solution

Such a lovely weather – spring is just around the corner J

My energy level blows the scale!

I’ve made a new layout on my blog – hope you like it. I’m just getting to know the way of changing, it’s a world of its own! Exciting! I love it. Guess I’ll change a bit more often – like the seasons.

Nothing’s really new around here at the moment. Still need to arrange a lot of things for the confirmation, but everything at its time! The invitations will be done this weekend. At the end of marts we have a meeting with the lady who is going to cook and take care of the serving, and we have to decide how to cover the tables – that’s very interesting.

But right now it’s the invitations, and they are ready to be made.

It’s quite silent in my inbox too. Nothing’s new there either – but I’m coping with it J Even though I miss your letters – indeed!

And well, it’s quite silent in my head too! Kind of empty, doing what’s necessary, surviving, sometimes maybe even living. Not as I wish in the end, but still…

Anyway for now I’m enjoying the spring. The birds. And leaving all the wondering, la sognatrice.

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you

Aretha Franklin - I say a little pray for you

Friends

You are always on my mind :-)